Hookup culture is now more and more common. secret benefits Is this liberation or self-objectification? Where do the line is drawn by us?
IвЂ™ll never forget the day in middle school when my Mom said, вЂњWe need to talk.вЂќ She had found out about a вЂњrainbow partyвЂќ by which girls took place on multiple guys, similar to an assembly line, each wearing a lipstick that is different to be able to create a rainbow effect. That sort of thing was so far off my radar that the whole situation was pretty dismissible at the time. As a grownup, however, IвЂ™ve discovered that scenario was hardly unique. Not really close.
I favor that birth control exists, that the LGBTQ community is gaining more traction towards equality, and therefore people can speak about sex more openly generally speaking. The theory that women could be independent and they are no more reliable on a husband for either security that is financial sexual satisfaction has given way to an ever expanding notion of what this new freedom should mean. What started as a rally cry for sexual equality and womenвЂ™s rights has grown to become an expectation that ladies not only will, but must be able to experience sex with a feeling of detachment. This has end up being the new standard for empowerment. But at what point does a healthy dose of free-spiritedness creep to the world of self-objectification?
The notion of women using their sexuality to achieve power is nothing new, and even, taking part in something like a rainbow party would likely make a young girl feel powerful. In the end, she’s got a roomful of guys in an extremely vulnerable position, a situation for which she could do just about anything. It might feel good to know that she is the cause that she could walk away, and it might feel just as good to satisfy him, knowing. While hooking up, thereвЂ™s a lot of cause for men and women to feel powerful, not least of which will be the myriad of chemicals sex makes the body release. Indeed, it is often not the act that is actual of up that offers young women pause. ItвЂ™s here are some.
Not absolutely all sex is empowering. ThereвЂ™s a line between whatвЂ™s liberated and empowering, whatвЂ™s self-objectification and when youвЂ™re just getting usedвЂ¦
Say you do take part in one of these parties or hook up casually, or whatever your equivalent is. It goes well, and you enjoy it. Okay. What about the day that is next? Will you be expecting a text or a phone call? Did he even ask for your number in the place that is first? What about the the next time you note that person? Are you currently expecting him to engage you in conversation? SayвЂ¦thank you? Ask it again sometime if you want to do? Or possibly youвЂ™re hoping heвЂ™ll ask you on an actual date since you had such a good time together? The specifics of your expectations that are personal that important. ItвЂ™s whether or otherwise not theyвЂ™re reachedвЂ”and how which makes you’re feeling either wayвЂ”that will tell you a whole lot about how empowering this or that experience actually was for your needs.
The American Psychological Association looked at exactly most of these expectations in a study they did on hookup culture. While 65% of males and women reported feeling good during a hookup, this number dropped to simply 27% post-hookup, with another 40% feeling regretful, disappointed or uncomfortable. They even unearthed that while there was a gender difference (63% of men and 83% of females), more than half of all of the young adults surveyed preferred a traditional romantic relationship over an uncommitted one that is sexual. Furthermore, there was no gender difference in reported motives for a hookup, which included not only gratification that is physical%), but also emotional gratification (54%), plus the likelihood of starting a relationship (51%). It would appear that in terms of casual sex, both women and men bring a host of interests to the tableвЂ“interests that challenge the idea that a hookup is actually just a hookup.
I wish to beвЂ” that is clear not suggesting that casual sex is inherently harmful. IвЂ™m saying that not totally all sex is empowering. ThereвЂ™s a line between whatвЂ™s liberated and empowering, whatвЂ™s self-objectification and when youвЂ™re just being used. The key will be able to note that relative line, because the distinction is getting lost in the shuffle.
How does that happen? How do a personal experience be empowering one moment and a potential letdown the next? Just how can women be both empowered and objectified by wielding their sexuality as power?
Enter Jean-Paul Sartre. This Frenchman that is famous and once posed the concept that individuals experience themselves as split between the truth of their situation and just how they elect to view their situation. In other words, this means that although we may recognize our situation for just what it really is, we may experience it as something more to the liking, such as when a new girl at a rainbow party chooses to experience a situation of clear objectification (and I also do realize this will be a tremendously extreme example), as one of power.
The same study by APA found that more often than not, casual sex produces a pluralistic ignorance response in participants if youвЂ™d like a more modern perspective. ThatвЂ™s a fancy method of saying that even that they were actually uncomfortable with what was happening, they ignored that feeling and did it anyway though they recognized. To be able to shift perspectives is a vital tool, however it could be harmful oneself blind to reality if itвЂ™s used to make. Call me crazy, but I tend to believe that if a scenario calls for mental gymnastics in order to feel okay with it, then itвЂ™s highly unlikely that youвЂ™re in an empowering situation.
We respect ourselves when it comes to hooking up, do? IвЂ™d say it depends regarding the woman, as well as on the particulars for the hookup. It goes without saying that after it comes to setting up, women are willing participants, not victims. Yet the transitory nature of hookups, and of course their general not enough any intimacy beyond the physical, puts men and women in a position that is vulnerable. Pregnancy and STDs are clear risks, exactly what about how these experiences impact self-esteem and feelings about oneвЂ™s sexuality? Surely sex, like most human experience, can be empowering. The devil is in the details like any human experience.
Note: This article will not discuss the potential for rape or pregnancy during these hookup situations, nor did we discuss the high odds of getting a STD. These are very real possibilities with potentially lifelong consequences, and may continually be considered.